Ben's wedding

I had been invited to be a groomsman for Ben R's wedding, and it was the day of the wedding preparation.  The guys (some of whom I knew, like Alex S) were all getting ready, and I wasn't even around.  I had overslept and was running really late.  After oversleeping, I had to have breakfast even though I don't eat breakfast most of the time, and so I came cruising up to the mansion where everyone was getting ready.  It was 12:50, and everyone was supposed to be loading up the cars at 13:00.  I thought to myself that I was ready, and saw that all the guys were in their wedding suits, and I was in my regular charcoal suit.  Alex looked at me with a look that said, "You haven't changed at all." I asked where the suits were and they pointed at a room just off the area where they were, so I went inside and there was a room with a closet full of clothes and one more wedding suit.

"Oh, it's charcoal!" I thought to myself, "This will be easy!" So I put on the things that were other than what I had on, and just when I thought I was ready, I noticed that this was more of a light gray than a charcoal, so I had to change.  I unloaded the hanger and noticed that there were also undergarments as well.  I then also noticed that there was a notification that whoever was going to wear these suits had to shower and shave before putting them on.

Right! So I went dashing down the long hall in only my underwear, finding that every individual shower was being used.  There were locker room equivalents, all of which had other people in them, but they were my only options.  I went into one, but before I got all the way in, I heard ladies voices and backed out quickly.  I went into another and heard children's voices; again, I left quickly because that wasn't an option either.  I went back up and down the halls, but all of the other showers were in use.  I found a third locker room, and it was empty!  Huzzah!  I began showering and heard kids voices.  I assumed they were going past when they entered the locker room.  They didn't care -- they were kids!  But this was not a place that I could be, so I wrapped up in a towel and left.  Fortunately, I was clean enough, so I just had to get back to the room with the suits.

When I returned, I found that this room had the air turned on, and the vertical slats for blinds were being taken for a ride by the air conditioning.  If there weren't so many people on the outside of those windows, this wouldn't have been a problem.  So I had to hunt again for another room.  Up and down the hall I went, and finally found an unoccupied room, but whose previous occupant had only been gone for a couple of minutes.  There was no telling when he or she would return.  I went in, closed and locked the door, put on the undergarments, and left the room exactly as I found it.

Going back to the room with the suits, I found that everyone who had been outside were all gone.  It looks like everyone had gone off to the wedding.  I knew I had only a couple of minutes, so I threw on the essentials and packed the accoutrements in my jacket pockets.  I went outside, found a set of directions to the church, and hopped in my car.  I began driving away and noticed that the directions were telling me to get on a couple of few different roads for 50 miles, 180 miles, 100 miles, 75 miles -- no small distance!  Apparently, this was not a local wedding; I was driving from here (somewhere in the DC metro) to upstate NY.  Yet somehow, the wedding was supposed to start soon and everyone, including the groom, was just here!

I checked my car's clock: it read 13:50. I had been inside the house getting ready for an hour.  I was late to the wedding! I would be an embarassment to Ben, Alex, my family who was there (not sure who that would be), and they would write me off as a friend; I was unreliable, and I had taken my own interpretation of fashionably late to a whole new meaning.