Monday, April 14, 2008

Mass in PJ's

I was in my PJ's at Mass. I don't know why or where.

I was praying in the very front of a relatively modern church, and it was early in the morning. Next to me was my duffel bag with a change of clothes, a couple prayer books, and some music in it. As I was praying, this a minister (priest or deacon, I'm not sure) comes out from the sacristy onto the sanctuary. I look up quickly and only notice the vestments. Then I go back to my prayer book.

We all kneel down (the church is somewhat full at this point, and I'm still in my PJ's). The minister begins Mass. It's then that I notice that the minister isn't real minister, but a fake one. It becomes obvious the instant she opens her mouth. I'm still concentrating on my prayer book, so I still don't actually notice the gender of the priest, but in my subconscious, I know it's a woman, and I'm praying that my ears are fooling me. I refuse to look, because I don't want to get mad in the middle of my prayers.

As "Mass" continues, we all stand up appropriately, and the entire congregation shouts at me from behind, "Go change your clothes!!!" I realize that I'm still in my PJ's. The mock ceremony takes a turn for the worse, and the woman heads straight for the tabernacle. She puts in the tabernacle key, but it will not open the tabernacle. She fights with it to open, but it won't open. She gets all embarrassed and asks for help. We all just stand there looking at her, not saying or doing anything. I grab my duffel bag and walk out.

I head over to the restroom to change my clothes. I throw on some jeans and a T-Shirt. Then I remember the situation in the church. There's no way that I'm going to participate in the rest of that blasphemy, but if no one else in the church has a problem with it, then I'm not going to get in their way on their fast track to hell -- certainly not the right thing to do in real life, but it was a dream. I remember this building from a previous experience here, where I had taken a paper clip and picked the lock of a small case that held a book I wanted to see. It was in one of the halls that was leading to the church.

I go back to where this case was and, to my surprise, it's in the exact same condition it was when I picked the lock. I took the paper clip out and walked back to the church. My intention was to throw it at the people and shout, "BURN IN HELL!" Instead, I opened the door to a huge party going on. If you remember the closing scene of Star Wars I: the Phantom Menace, where Boss Nass holds up this blue ball and shouts "PEACE!", and everyone suddenly starts dancing, that's what I was faced with, except that she was holding a ciborium over her head. I looked for the culprit who had opened the tabernacle for her -- a dirty little mexican was standing right next to her, looking very pleased with himself.

I woke up to a mild adrenaline rush as I prepared to end this blasphemy in the style of Judas Machabeus...

1 comment:

lover of beauty said...

Wow, Anthony, that's seriously messed up!